Author Archives: torichatfield

NaPoWriMo 2016 – No 26 – Bank Holiday



“Are we nearly there yet Mum?”

“No not nearly there.
We only set off
Five minutes ago
Look here’s your teddy bear.”

“Are we nearly there yet Mum?”

“No not there yet my love.
We set off barely
Ten minutes ago
Just watch the clouds above.”

“Are we nearly there yet Mum?”

“No not there yet my sweet.
We set off
Twenty minutes ago –
Please stop kicking me
With your feet!”

“Are we nearly there yet Mum?”

“No – still not there my child
In thirty minutes
You haven’t stopped
You’re driving Mummy wild!”

“Are we nearly there yet Mum?”

“Again I say not yet!
We’re now stuck
In a traffic jam
And Mummy’s in a sweat”

“Are we nearly there yet Mum?”

“No no no no no!
I’ll tell you when
We’re getting close
Now please stop punching Jo!”

“Are we nearly th…..” “We’re here!!”

And I’d just like to say
I wish your bloomin’ Grandma
Didn’t live so
Far away!!”


NaPoWriMo 2016 – No 25 – Golden Boy



He sat in that chair
Like a King on a burnished throne.
The light played off his hair
And turned it into
Gleaming threads of gold.
His eyes were closed as he
Thrummed the guitar strings.
He was lost
In the music,
In the moment,
In the words
Of the song.
It was at that point;
That shining golden moment
When I realised
That I was also lost
And that I loved him.

NaPoWriMo 2016 – No 23.5 – Taking a Vampire to the Beach


Halloween At The Beach Themed Art Prints


He’d lived in our cellar for eons
We’d always had our Uncle Vlad
He only went shopping at midnight
Yes, he was a vampiric lad.

One day after dining on virgins,
He took on a quite maudlin look,
Sobbed into the cuff of his frilly white shirt
And waved at us all a guidebook.

“I want to visit the seaside!” he cried.
“Please take me there soon I beseech!”
He looked so forlorn that we had to agree
To take this vampire to the beach.

He’d always been curious to see it –
The bright thing that hung up in the sky
He knew that it could be the death of him
But he told us he wanted to try.

So we took him to the local Specsavers
(Obviously undercover of the night)
To try out some styles of sunglasses
Tho’ his fangs gave the assistant a fright.

She showed him the various selections
Of specs that would favour his face
But he had some trouble deciding
‘Cause mirrors don’t reflect his race.

Wearing some factor one thousand
A blanket, a scarf and a hat
We eventually got him out of the house
Clutching onto a long bamboo mat

He certainly lost some of his sparkle
As he’d never been out there before
It took some black pudding and a crow bar
To lever him out of the door.

Well at length we all landed in Skeggy
Well known for its cool bracing air.
We took Uncle Vlad (under blankets)
To sample the delights of the fair.

He managed to throw up on the Waltzer
After candy floss and corn on the cob.
The saving grace was the Haunted House ride
Where the manager offered him a job.

We covered him up in a poncho and hat
And took him down onto the sand
Where he had a long ride on a donkey.
And listened to the local brass band.

He sat – quite at home – in his deckchair
Clutching a huge bag of chips,
A big stick of rock that was fluorescent pink
And a huge smile displayed on his lips.

“I’ll remember this day forever” he said
“I’d thought it was out of my reach”
Yes we’ll always remember it too Uncle Vlad
The day we took a vampire to the beach.


An additional poem after my daughter gave me a prompt to write a poem about taking a vampire to the beach. Here you go Lucy!

Artwork by Brian Allen

NaPoWriMo 2016 – No 23 – Unconfined Sonnet



Some fret and worry about this and that –
They claim that life is fate they cannot change.
Their negativity is like a rat
Who gnaws away inside; they think it strange
That I should choose to walk another road,
One where the route meanders far and wide.
The grass is always green and freshly mowed;
Flowers of fortune bloom on ev’ry side.
They offer opportunities untold
If one should care to stoop, look and explore
Considering each petal and each fold;
I find each blossom leaves me wanting more.
I’d rather have this life; I am resigned!
I’ll never be a captive of my mind!

NaPoWriMo 2016 – No 21 – Step-Sister Act



She’s pretty, she’s witty
And fair in the face
The clothes that she wears
Are an utter disgrace
But she still gets the vote
From the populace
And I’m just the ugly step-sister.

She has all the applause
And the adoring smiles,
The love of the birds
And the cute animiles
But I can see through
All her feminine wiles
‘Cos I am her ugly step-sister.

That girl is as dumb
As an old Trappist monk
She’s so self obsessed
Yes – her charm I’ll debunk
For without all those corsets
There’s junk in her trunk!
And me? I’m her ugly step-sister.

What’s wrong with my lips
Or my nose that is long?
I may be too tall
And a little headstrong
But I’m not at all evil –
You’ve got me all wrong;
It’s tough being the ugly step sister!

That Prince at the ball
Well he’s so not all that.
He is stupidness dressed
In a velvet cocked hat
With a brain that’s as sharp
As a worn cricket bat
He’s no chance with this clever step-sister.

‘Cause he says he’s in love
But he doesn’t know her face,
Her address or her phone number
He just gave chase.
It’s her shoe he keeps
In pride of place –
She left in a hurry and he missed ‘er.

Well they certainly make
A magnificent pair
Looking in mirrors
And admiring their hair.
Meanwhile Buttons and I
Have a torrid affair.
Much more fun for this ugly step-sister!